Family Law Blog

When Co-Parenting Is Not An Option

Thursday, June 13, 2019

mother and son

When co-parenting is not an option for whatever reason, whether it is because of domestic violence, child abuse, or maybe addiction, you are on your own. One word can kill your chances at happiness and having peace of mind. It is called guilt, and it will make your life miserable. It will also have an affect on your parenting abilities.

Most divorced parents feel like they have failed as a parent to some degree. That guilt will surface time and time again in ways you would never suspect, but if you are aware of it, you can eliminate it from your new life as a single parent. 

Here are three ways you can eliminate guilt and make your new beginning a positive experience for both you and your children. 

1. Depriving yourself so your children will have more is a big mistake. You have as much right to happiness as your children. Don't give up your bedroom because it is bigger. Don't be a chauffeur if it makes your life harder, and don't spend your last money to give your children things they don't need. You need to give to yourself and do more for yourself because you are just as deserving. 

2. Don't try to be both a mom and a dad. You can't be both. Your kids will need a positive male role model, so look to your brother, uncle, cousin, father, and even a teacher for that positive male influence. You will be surprised at how well received and appreciated this will be. There are other people in your children's lives that can offer emotional support besides you. 

3. Pull together and work as a team. Everyone should pitch in to take care of the home front. Teaching your children how to be self-sufficient will help them greatly when they transition into adulthood. They might not like it now, but your children will be grateful for these lessons when they become adults.

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