Family Law Blog

Why It's Better to Get Divorced Than Stay in a Bad Marriage

Monday, March 16, 2015

Sometimes, parents delay or postpone divorce, because they don’t want the negative impact of the divorce on their children. While there's no denying that divorce does have some impact on children, the impact may be more negative, if the parents continue to stay together in a hostile marriage.

You may believe that you're doing what’s best for your children by staying together with your spouse even though you're not in love with him or her anymore. However, you may want to take a hard look at your marriage, and see whether your behavior with your spouse and continuous exposure to it, is affecting your children in the long run.

There are certain advantages to a divorce that can actually mitigate any negative fallout from the divorce. For instance, when parents cooperate with each other, they can work to minimize the negative impact of divorce. There is a transition period that is traumatic for the child. However, things do tend to settle down after a few months, and a child benefits from having parents who are separated from each other, but are still respectful to each other.

Sure, children will have two separate homes when they are in a divorced family as opposed to an intact family, but there is no constant arguing, yelling or screaming in those homes.

Many people, who get a divorce, believe that it was the best decision for them. If you're constantly stressed, depressed, or traumatized over your marriage, consider what kind of effect that is having on the kids.

Making the decision to divorce is never an easy one. For advice on protecting your interests and the interests of the children in your divorce, speak to a San Jose divorce lawyer.

The Answers to These Two Questions can Predict Divorce Risks

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

In an interesting study, researchers at the University Of Virginia focused on how couples answer two different questions about their happiness after divorce. The first question asked each individual person how happy they believed they would be if they were to separate or divorce, while in the next question they were asked how happy they believed that their partner would be in the event of a separation or divorce.

How the individuals answered these questions and the differences in the perception of each other’s happiness, proved to be significant predictors of their divorce risks.

The individuals were asked to rate on a scale of 1 to 5 their potential happiness after divorce, as well as their partner's potential happiness after divorce. The researchers found that over six years, 7% of the couples ended up getting divorced. Couples, in which both the spouses admitted that they would be worse off if they were divorced or separated, had a lower divorce rate than the study's average. The divorce rate in the study was 4.8%. Couples who admitted that they would be happier if they got divorced were much more likely to end up getting divorced over the course of the study.

However, when it came to the questions about their partners’ happiness, the results got more interesting. Couples, who incorrectly perceived that their partner would be less happy in the event of a divorce were found to be actually more likely to get divorced. The spouses who had extremely incorrect perceptions about their partner’s reaction to the divorce ended up having a much higher divorce risk. The divorce rate for such couples was approximately 12%, much higher than the average for the study.

That seems to conclude that incorrect perceptions of your partner’s happiness in your marriage are a fairly reliable indicator of your divorce risk.

Speak to a Los Angeles divorce lawyer about securing your rights and interests during a divorce.

How to Cope with Divorce Anger

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Divorce anger is what people who find it difficult to let go of their anger at their ex-spouse over their divorce, experience. That anger can continue to fester in a person's heart for years after the divorce. That kind of anger and resentment towards an ex-spouse is unhealthy, not only for the person, but also the children involved.

If you're currently dealing with a spouse who continues to be bitter or resentful against you because of the divorce, here's how you can handle it responsibly.

First of all, acknowledge that this is your ex-spouse’s issue, not yours. You are not the ones with the problem.

Understand that this is not something that you can control, and therefore, know that you shouldn't let it bother you.

Also understand that your children are watching whatever happens between the two of you, and can easily gauge the resentment by the other parent. Don’t worsen things by stooping to your ex’s level. Remember, your children also will remember how you spoke to their other parent.

Try not to let the anger affect you, and stop hoping that things are going to change.

Prioritize your children, and continue to be polite to your ex because it is what your children need. Stop focusing so much on the other person's anger.

Once you stop thinking so much about how to deal with your ex’s bitterness towards you, you will find that it is not a priority in your life anymore. Ultimately, you aren't responsible for your ex-spouse’s happiness, and are not responsible for his psychological well-being. If he or she can't deal with the divorce, you don't need to make it your problem.

Are Divorce Rates Declining?

Monday, November 10, 2014

For decades now, Americans have been told that as many as 50% of American couples end up in divorce court. However, those statistics may not be entirely accurate.

According to a new article in the New York Times, the divorce rate isn't rising, and in fact, has actually been declining since the 1980s. Many social scientists and demographers now agree that the divorce rate in the United States far from increasing, is actually dropping, or somewhat stable. In fact, they deny that the 50% divorce rate is true, and say that young couples in America today are much less likely to get divorced, compared to their parents’ generation.

Why then is there so much focus on the 50% divorce rate in this country? It could be that when divorce rates increase, it tends to fit in with society’s sense of moral outrage. Declining divorce rates, you may notice, do not elicit much response.

In fact, all the evidence seems to prove the divorce rate actually fell after 2005 and has been down ever through the recession. However, that decline is not significant, and the divorce rate has remained more or less stable since 2005.

Those are still optimistic statistics. Further statistics reported in the New York Times suggest that approximately 70% of the marriages that began in the 1990s recently celebrated their 15th anniversary. Couples who married in the 2000s are filing for divorce at lower rates than couples who got married in the 70s and 80s. The feminist movement of the 1970s far from triggering a massive increase in divorce rates has actually helped make marriage more stable with more women working. In a two-income household, marriage is based on shared housekeeping, and shared responsibilities. Additionally, the fact that people are marrying much later has made for much more mature people in marriages.