Family Law Blog

Five Ways to Get Over the Ex

Thursday, May 02, 2019

So, the person you spent months or years with ended up not being right for you. Bummer. Perhaps they broke your heart, or you just couldn't handle some of their behaviors. Divorcing someone you were in a relationship with is never fun, but eventually, you have to move on in life. You might be asking yourself how to do such a thing when your life feels like it has been turned upside down. So, here is a list of five ways to move on after a divorce!

1. Do all of the things that you didn't when you were with the ex. They didn't like the beach? Well, it's time for a beach day! They hated Italian food? On tonight's menu are Zuppa and lasagne! Enjoy all of the little things you had to give up to make your ex-partner happy. 

2. Date. Yes I know, it's probably the last thing you want to do. Unless you plan to stay single forever then you need to get back in the saddle. Hopefully, you won't have to kiss too many frogs to find your prince or princess. 

3. Move somewhere you always have wanted to live. If there is nothing tying you to your current location, then why stay there? Maybe you moved to that city to be near your now ex, but really you want to live somewhere warmer, colder or less expensive? By all means, do it! 

4. Reconnect with friends and family. Everyone knows that a marriage takes up a lot of your time, and that is okay. Other relationships may be put on the back burner during your marriage but now as a single person, you can rekindle those relationships. Haven't seen grandma in a while? Shame on you! Get over there as soon as possible!

5. Go out as a party of one and become comfortable with your own company. When was the last time you went to a movie by yourself? Never? How about going to the gym or a concert sans spouse? It is time to get out there and enjoy yourself, by yourself. This is important, as it will help you become more comfortable with who you are as a person and you may develop interests you never knew you had!

Divorce is definitely not fun, there's no doubt about that. Sooner or later it's time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back out into the world. Hopefully, these five suggestions will help you do just that. Feel free to contact us for further help with your separation and divorce.

Tips to Make Mediation Work

Thursday, April 18, 2019

man and woman going through divorce mediation

Though you may think that you need to go to court to get divorced, the truth is that there is a better way. Mediation can really save you time and money. It could also save your relationship, especially if you are parents. Parents who try mediation are often better co-parents because of it. They didn't spend months fighting through the court system because they found a way to make it work together.  

That being said, it isn't always easy. Here are some tips to make mediation work.

Choose the right mediator. 

Though any mediator will help you through this process, you need to make sure that you find one that you are both comfortable with. You may also want to make sure that he or she has helped others who were in a similar situation as you are. Some specialize in helping those who are dealing with cheating, have children involved, or are in a certain financial situation.

Have all of your paperwork together. 

Getting all of your paperwork together can be tedious. You are going to need information about the mortgage, your health insurance, any retirement accounts, and much more. However, if you don't have them when you come to mediation, it isn't going to help. In order to split up your things, you are going to need the information.

Don't be afraid to take a break. 

There are times when you are talking about things that are going to be hard for you. This is especially true when it comes to figuring out what is best for the children. Your emotions may get the best of you. Don't be afraid to ask for a break so you can compose yourself and try again.

When you are going through mediation, you need to choose the right person to help you through the process. You also need to make sure that you have all of your paperwork in order. If not, it will just slow down the whole process. Then, don't be afraid to take breaks when you need to. It is important so that you can come back refreshed and ready to try again.

Contact us for all of your legal needs. We will be glad to help you through this difficult time.

Shielding Children From the Effects of Divorce

Friday, April 05, 2019

parents getting divorced arguing with upset child

The disintegration of marriage brings about significant changes in the lives of a couple's children. Divorce can have lasting psychological and emotional impacts on children—but, there are steps that parents can take to alleviate these effects.

A divorce, from a child's perspective, is the crumbling of their most basic foundational structure. Life suddenly becomes confusing and unpredictable. Children may have to cope with two homes, separate holiday celebrations, and the introduction of their parents' new love interests. Their parents' divorce will stand as a major marker in their history. Everything that happens in a child's life will be categorized as a pre-divorce or post-divorce event. 

Emotional Effects

Children coping with a parental divorce may experience a wide range of emotions, including:

• Sadness

• Anger

• Low self-esteem

• Low self-confidence

• Rejection

• Conflicting loyalty

• Sense of fault

For younger children, divorce intensifies parental dependence. To the contrary, it will expedite independence in adolescent-aged children. While young children will revert back to infantile behaviors, like tantrums and thumbsucking, older children will push away from their parents with vigor.

Reducing the Costs of Divorce

The end of a marriage is treacherous to navigate for all parties. There are, however, a number of ways to help reduce the impact on children. With adolescents, the goal is to increase their responsibility to slow their separation from the family unit. For younger kids, the priority should be to establish a routine to restore the structure. A sense of safety comes from predictability in a family. 

It goes without saying, fighting in front of children should be avoided. Emotions are high during a divorce and can be tough to restrain. However, children should not witness their parents insulting or berating one another. This behavior only confirms their fear that the family is falling apart. Emotional issues should be worked out privately with a therapist or counselor. 

Divorce comes with a price—that means financial, emotional, and time costs. There could be extended negotiations for custody of the children, finances, and property. A family lawyer can help resolve disputes amicably. Parents should avoid involving children in financial or property-related disputes.

Behaving with civility will increase a child's confidence in his or her parents' ability to uphold a functioning, loving family. Establishing a routine and providing reassurance are vital to reducing the negative implants of divorce on children.

 

Need Help?

Jamra & Jamra focus exclusively on family law, offering the highest possible degree of attention in your divorce case. For assistance in your family law matters, please contact us today.

Divorce When One Spouse Has Dementia

Tuesday, March 05, 2019

elderly woman with dementia

As the baby boomers move into their golden years, gray divorces, or divorces in a person's elderly years, have skyrocketed. In these divorces, typically they are more complicated due to the number of assets usually involved, but what if one person is not as mentally competent as perhaps they should be for a divorce?

Dementia is a difficult disease, and yes, it is one that can shake even the strongest of foundations. Some may not be up to the task of caring for or dealing with a person that has dissolved so greatly in mental capacity that they no longer even recognize them. For this, a divorce is an option, but it likely won't be your more traditional divorce, but it does not need to be more complicated than usual.

In states that need a reason for divorce, typically diminished mental capacity can be used. In states that don't need a reason for divorce, mental capacity doesn't really matter. However, what will likely need to happen is that the spouse with dementia will need to have a guardian appointed by the court to represent their interests in the matter.

Of course, guilt may play a major part in a divorce when one person has dementia, but it shouldn't. If they have become increasingly difficult to take care of, it can be increasingly stressful for the spouse that has to do it. For some, their golden years are the only time they can fully enjoy their life, and a partner with dementia can quickly end that.

If you are considering divorce of your spouse who has manifested advanced dementia, contact us today. We can help walk you through the process so both parties get what is fairly there without too much difficulty. Let the Law Office of Jamra & Jamra come to help you through this difficult situation.


What to Do After Receiving Divorce Papers

Friday, September 07, 2018

In some cases, divorce is anticipated. You had been living separated for years, and you just knew it was coming. However, for some couples, they just wake up one day and find divorce papers sitting in front of them. However, what now? If you have received divorce papers, take these steps.

divorce papers with wooden gavel

Read Them

We live in a world where often we are pushed to just sign papers without reading them because the language is so complicated you can't understand it anyway. However, your divorce papers contain a treasure trove of information, as well as a deadline by which you must sign them. If the papers are a complete surprise to you, they may even contain the reasons for a divorce.

Contact a Lawyer

If divorce papers have been filed, this is not something that is going to be easily rectified. Contacting a divorce lawyer can help you understand the papers, and more importantly, respond to them appropriately by the usually very short deadline. While many believe a lawyer is just someone who can help you negotiate the most out of your divorce, they are first and foremost an advocate for your rights to make sure your spouse doesn't try to run you into the ground.

Protect Your Assets

This doesn't mean that you should go withdraw all your money from a joint checking account after receiving divorce papers, but rather you should take steps to protect your assets. You should leave all your assets where they are until they can be divided by the court, but you should also set up new separate bank accounts where your next paycheck will be deposited.

Are you going through a divorce? Whether it was long coming or a complete surprise, we can help you. As divorce lawyers, we can help you prepare for what is likely going to be a long process. Contact us today so we can start helping you today.


6 Tips for Your First Meeting With a Divorce Attorney

Friday, August 10, 2018

Meeting with a divorce attorney for the first time? You are taking a major step, and it is important to be properly prepared. Here are five tips for meeting with your divorce lawyer for the first time.

divorce attorney

Know What to Bring 

Ask the lawyer which documents you need to bring along. You might need to bring various tax documents and other legal documents. Make sure you bring all of them so that the lawyer can be properly prepared going forward.

Prepare a List of Questions

Write down any questions that you may have so that you are prepared for the meeting. If a question pops into your head, write it down. This way, you won't leave anything out by mistake.

Be Honest

The lawyer is going to ask you various questions about your marriage, your history together, and so on. Be honest. There is nothing to be ashamed of; divorce lawyers are prepared for every scenario. Not leaving anything out means that your lawyer will be able to handle your case properly.

Coordinate With Your Spouse

If you are going to the meeting together with your spouse, make sure that you are working together. You may not be on the best of terms, but coordinating and working together will ensure that the entire divorce process goes as smoothly as possible without any hiccups. Of course, don't bring your kids to the meeting; it's totally unnecessary. 

Take Notes

Take notes during your meeting. You are going to be covering a lot of topics, and some of them may be new to you. 

Give Yourself Enough Time

Get to the meeting early so that you have enough time. You want to make sure that you can cover all aspects of the divorce process and not leave anything out.

Contact us today for more information. 

What Happens When A Child Doesn’t Want to Have Visitation?

Tuesday, January 02, 2018

Often when it comes to visitation issues, typically it is one parent not showing up to a scheduled visitation, resulting in understandable heartbreak. However, occasionally it can actually be the child that doesn't want to attend a visitation. Maybe they are bored just watching TV with dad all day, or maybe mom is seeing someone new and it is resulting in some discomfort on their part. Regardless of the reason, what happens when a child no longer wants to attend visitation?

If the custodial parent denies visitation, they can be held in contempt of court. This can still happen if your child is refusing. This is why the custodial parent needs to take steps in order to remedy their relationship with the non-custodial parent.

The incontrovertible first step should always be to ask your child why they don't want to go. Sometimes it can be from neglect or abuse, and then that becomes a whole different ball game where you can often have visitation revoked. However, if it is something like boredom and negative emotions, often you can ask your ex-spouse to address these issues. Perhaps it would be better to spend time with their child doing more interesting things or it would be better if their new significant other wasn't around until they were more comfortable. You, as the custodial parent, need to explain very clearly how spending time with both parents is important. Make sure it is known that both sides love them and both sides always want to spend time with them.

If your child still refuses, a last resort may also be asking your ex-spouse for a little break from visitation. However, this might open you up to legal action. This means that if your child is refusing visitation, you may want to contact us to talk your options over with a lawyer.

Reasons to Choose Annulment Over Divorce

Thursday, September 28, 2017


It happens every day. Couples come to the decision that they no longer want to be together. If they were dating, the split is heart-breaking but simple. However, if they are legally married, splitting up is just ever so much more difficult. When it comes to dissolving a marriage, there are two choices: divorce or annulment.

Contrary to the belief, annulments aren't just for quickie weddings in Las Vegas, they can be employed for a number of reasons. Unlike divorce, an annulment can only happen if there are specific situations about the marriage. In most states, these include reasons of fraud, bigamy, underage or incompetent spouse, or the marriage has not been consummated.

Typically the difference between an annulment and a divorce is that an annulment makes it as if the marriage never happened, but a divorce will always be on record. In days past when divorce had a negative stigma, seeking an annulment was the preferred course of action. However, today most people seek annulments in order to protect their property and possessions. If you can prove that a spouse was already married or lied about who they were, then a marriage can be annulled and even in an equal division of property states, they will have no claim on what is yours.

Annulments may be the preferable option for some, but if you do not fit the strict requirements, then you will have to settle for a regular old divorce. However, that doesn't mean you have to lose everything. With the right divorce lawyer, you can make sure your divorce goes smoothly and in your favor. If you are considering a separation, contact us today.

What About Our Home After a Divorce?

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Divorce can be a devastating experience. Not only are you splitting from someone you once loved, but you must divide your assets. One of your biggest assets is likely your home. Deciding who gets the home can be a difficult and contentious decision, which should ideally be made by you and your ex rather than be left up to a judge's decision. When making decisions about your home, you have several options.

One of You Keeps the Home

Sometimes, the best solution is for one of you to keep the home. In some cases, the one keeping the home may buy out the other person, allowing one spouse to have the home while the other has the money.

One of you keeping the home is also often a good solution when you still have children at home. The children can continue to live in the home until they are grown. In some cases, the house may then be sold. In other cases, the person living in the home may continue to live in the home even after the children have moved out.

Sell the Home

For many splitting couples, selling the home and splitting the profits is the best solution. This might be the best solution if both of you want the house or if maintaining the home would cause a financial burden for the person wanting to keep the house. It is also often a good option if neither person wants to keep the home, especially if both people want to make a fresh start, in a new community, far from the memories of that home.  

Each Keep One

If you own more than one home, you may be able to come to a compromise where you each get one home. Of course, this may require some serious compromising on one or both of your parts, especially if one home is worth significantly more than the other.

Unfortunately, your home is just one of the property division issues you will face during your divorce. Contact us to learn how we can help you through the divorce process.

Divorce: Mediation as an alternative to litigation

Thursday, September 01, 2016

Some people who plan to divorce might avoid a long and expensive litigation process by choosing an alternative dispute resolution process called divorce mediation. While some divorce cases are inappropriate for mediation, mancan be successfully resolved with it. Mediating a divorce provides several benefits for those who have good cases for this method.

Determining whether a case is appropriate for mediation

Divorce and child custody mediation have been available as alternatives to court litigation for some time. Not all cases are appropriate for these processes, however. People who have issues with domestic violence in their relationships and those who have spouses with addiction issues may be better off litigating their matters in court. If one spouse is suspected of hiding assets, income or debts, litigation may be a more appropriate choice as well. Most other cases may be successfully resolved with mediation.

Pros and cons of mediating divorces and child custody cases

One reason that people may opt to mediate their divorce cases or to go through child custody mediation is to preserve working relationships with their former spouses. Court litigation is often bitter, leaving people with hard feelings and making it difficult for them to work together after their divorce or child custody case. People who share children will have interconnected lives for years, making it more important for them to be able to co-parent effectively in order to raise their children.

Other benefits of divorce mediation include that it is a cooperative process where the spouses work together in order to reach a full settlement agreement. They will thus have more control over the outcome than they would if they instead leave it up to a judge to decide for them. It is also often much more cost-effective than court litigation, can be a significantly faster process and can provide added privacy.

The cons of choosing the mediation process include that it can't address emergency situations in which temporary orders are needed immediately such as for temporary spousal and child support and child custody. Mediators are also not allowed to give either party legal advice but must instead act as neutral third parties.

What to expect

Couples go to the mediator's office or other agreed-upon location. The mediator will then explain the goals and rules of the process. Each spouse is then able to explain the issues that are in dispute from his or her perspective and without interruption from the other spouse. The mediator may either meet with both spouses together or may have them in separate rooms with the mediator going back and forth between them to work out agreements about the various issues. After having the discussions, the mediator will then attempt to negotiate an agreement. If it is successful, the mediator will then write out the agreement and ask each spouse to sign it with the advice to review it with a lawyer. The attorney may then file the agreement with the court, and it will become the court's order in the divorce. If it is not successful, the parties may then decide to return to court and litigate the issues instead.

Choosing a mediator

Divorce mediators are typically lawyers who have specialized training in mediating family law cases. It is a good idea to choose a mediator or who is local and whose practice is primarily focused on divorce and family law cases. If you would like to learn more about whether mediation is appropriate for you, contact us today.